Buddha considered living in harmony and friendship without disputes, an important human relationship based on Loving Kindness that envelopes much more than mere love. Buddha's disciples followed this principle very religiously wherein the young monks lived in unity talking to each others mutual friendliness, mixing with each other like milk and water and seeing each other with pleasing eyes.
Buddha's teachings on friendship, companionship and association with others was a bit confusing for his disciple Ananda and saying so he approached Gautama Buddha to show him the way to which Buddha answered :
Buddha's teachings on friendship, companionship and association with others was a bit confusing for his disciple Ananda and saying so he approached Gautama Buddha to show him the way to which Buddha answered :
"There are two type of friends in this world, The good friend and the evil friend. To follow the path of success one should not keep company with evil friends or those who are mean. instead should associate with the good and bold friends because Friendship is a force that has no parallel; there is no other single power that can generate good qualities in a person as friendship with the good because after a certain age children stop emulating their parents and start imitating their friends."
The Buddha's advice regarding good friends comprehends to 4 type of essential friends which are as follows :
The Buddha's advice regarding good friends comprehends to 4 type of essential friends which are as follows :
Young man, be aware of these four good-hearted friends:
1. The helper
2. The friend who endures in good and bad times
3. The mentor and
4. The compassionate friend.
1. The helper
2. The friend who endures in good and bad times
3. The mentor and
4. The compassionate friend.
4 Types of Good Friends According To The Buddha
#1. The Helper
The helper can be identified by four things:
They protecting you when you are vulnerable, and likewise your wealth, being a refuge when you are afraid, and in various tasks providing double effort of what is requested.
They protecting you when you are vulnerable, and likewise your wealth, being a refuge when you are afraid, and in various tasks providing double effort of what is requested.
#2. The Enduring Friend
The enduring friend can be identified by four things:
They tell you their secrets, guard your own secrets closely, do not abandon you in misfortune, and can even die for you.
They tell you their secrets, guard your own secrets closely, do not abandon you in misfortune, and can even die for you.
#3. The Mentor
The mentor can be identified by four things:
They restrain you from wrongdoing, guide you towards good actions, tell you what you ought to know, and show you the path to samsaric heavens.
They restrain you from wrongdoing, guide you towards good actions, tell you what you ought to know, and show you the path to samsaric heavens.
#4. The Compassionate Friend
The compassionate friend can be identified by four things:
They do not rejoice in your misfortune, delight you in your good fortune, prevent others from speaking ill of you, and encourage others who praise your good qualities.
They do not rejoice in your misfortune, delight you in your good fortune, prevent others from speaking ill of you, and encourage others who praise your good qualities.
A wise person having understood these four kinds of friends, should cherish them and associate with them as a mother tends her only son.
4 ways Evil Friends Ruin a Person's Life
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The Buddha has explained further how a foe in the guise of a friend brings about the ruin of a person in four ways.
► He is a companion in indulging in intoxicants which gives rise to infatuation and heedlessness. ► He is a ready companion to frequent the streets at ungodly hours. ► He is a companion to attend theatrical shows and ► He is a companion in gambling which causes one's downfall. |
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In short one can judge a friend to be good through following seven qualities of being pleasant and lovable, respectful, worthy of emulation, willing to engage in useful conversation, willing to tolerate words, engages in profound talk and never exhorts groundlessly. While the evil friends poses the following qualities of a gambler, libertines, tripplers, cheats, swindlers or violent thugs.
In this manner, Buddhism points out the basic ingredients to foster a healthy friendship, minimize friction and displeasure, promote good-will and companionship and ultimately bring about one's welfare and spiritual progress leading to the realization of the Supreme Bliss of Nirvana.
In this manner, Buddhism points out the basic ingredients to foster a healthy friendship, minimize friction and displeasure, promote good-will and companionship and ultimately bring about one's welfare and spiritual progress leading to the realization of the Supreme Bliss of Nirvana.
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